


Bi The Way, I Think You're Purrfectly Pawsome As You Are

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Needs a Hug, Advice, Bisexual Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Bisexuality, Character Study, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Crushes, F/M, Gay Panic, Gen, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Revelations, Sad Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Secret Crush, Serious, Sexuality Crisis, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 10:36:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20469626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: Adrien starts noticing that Ladybug isn't the only one who makes his heart flutter, the problem is, his heart is starting to flutter forother guys, and Adrien, being isolated and kept away from outside society, isn't sure if that's normalMinor Ladrien, MariChat, ViperNoir, and Lukadrien





	Bi The Way, I Think You're Purrfectly Pawsome As You Are

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to do a fic for a long time dealing with Adrien being bi and not really knowing that that's a thing, then panicking because he's 1000% sure he can't come out- atleast, not as Adrien
> 
> I wanted it to be alot longer but I'm submitting this in a zine application so I had to keep it to 3K or smaller, but I plan on exploring this subject further later, I might just make this the first part of a series
> 
> (Also please note: I myself am bi and the conditions of his internalized biphobia and worires about being bi are central to Adrien's mental space, not author opinion)

All he had to do was get the hairbrush away from Lady Tangle and then his lady could purify it

Easy

He just had to destroy the bridge of hair she was currently standing on, right?

"CATACLY-"

"Chat! NO!"

Before he could even finish the command Chat had been nocked to the ground, hitting it hard and groaning at the pressure suddenly on top of him

Hoping to see familiar blue eyes staring down at him, Chat's emerald greens opened up... and locked with another pair of green eyes instead

For a second he'd forgotten about Viperion, but now that he actually realized who had jumped on him it made alot more sense, Viperion was considerably taller and heavier than Ladybug, no wonder he was still on the ground

But... had... Viperion's eyes always been so pretty?

And when he pushed away from Chat- an action wich took only seconds in reality, but _felt_ like it had taken.... hours....- his hand brushed up against Chat's cheek

And for some reason his... his heart stuttered

He felt butterflies (non-akumatized ones hopefully) fluttering around in his chest, just like he did with Ladybug

......

But _why?_

~+~

"Nice job guys, and thanks again for your help Viperion,"

Chat was still tense

He felt like he was walking on egg shells, trying not to do or say anything that might be... _incriminating_...

Ladybug seemed oblivious, he could only hope Viperion was too

"No problem, happy to help," the snake-hero replied, turning his attention to Chat and holding his hand out politely

"Chat Noir, I hope I didn't hurt you back there when I nocked you down, I was just trying to protect you from Lady Tangle's attack but... you seemed a little stunned... did it hurt?"

Chat half expected the words "when you fell from heaven" to come out of Viperion's mouth next and it was kind of an act of mercy that they didn't

"Nope!" he squeaked back, giving Viperion's hand a quick shake and hurriedly yanking his hand away

"I-I'm fine! Totally fine!!"

Viperion seemed considerably less convinced, but he smiled warmly anyway, bid them both aidou, and jumped off in another direction

Ladybug was quiet for a moment before turning to Chat, expression mildly concerned

"You ok Kitty? You seem kind of off...."

"I-I'm fine!! I'm TOTALLY fine, but you're going to transform back soon so I know you have to leave so I'm just going to leave myself and save you the trouble bye m'lady see you soon!!"

The way he rushed away, heart pounding with panic, he was sure he hadn't left the best impression on Ladybug, but he was worried about her prying deeper

He was notorious for not being able to hold any secrets from her- not intentionally atleast- and being a horrible liar, but...

This was something he could never be honest about, least of all to Ladybug...

It was better to just stay away and distance himself until he recovered from... whatever this was...

~+~

_"Nice to meet you, where you been?  
I could show you incredible things,"_

That music....

It was so pretty....

Adrien couldn't help wandering towards it

He knew he should stay closer to where he was waiting on Nathalie to pick him up from his shoot, but... surely it wouldn't hurt to wander just a _little_, would it?

_"New money, suit and tie  
I can read you like a magazine,"_

He wandered closer to the sound, curiosity spreading through him, as well as that strange feeling of butterflies again

_"And I know you've heard about me  
So hey, let's be freinds,"_

Oh, someone wanting a freind!

Now Adrien was even more eager, picking up the pace a little and finally managing to duck his head around the corner, into the park, and catching a glimpse of who was singing

_"Grab your passport and my hand,"_

Luka glanced up breifly from his guitar, just long enough to catch Adrien's eyes, and Adrien swore- he _swore_\- that the next words came on purpose

_"I can make the bad guys good for a weekend,"_

O-Oh no....

_Oh **no**_

It felt like there were arrows peircing through his heart in that magnificent way that he only ever felt about Ladybug

...And more recently Viperion...

"Oh, hey Adrien, what's up?"

That was an incredibly good question, what _was_ up?

Adrien certainly didn't know anymore

"I-I.. modeling... um.... what are you.. playing...?"

"Oh, it's Taylor Swift, you've never heard it? I'm doing an acoustic cover of _'Blank Space'_,"

Swallowing tightly, Adrien stepped closer, filled with anticipation and trepidation, like how he imagined someone might feel approaching a wild tiger

It was... different, from how he felt when he admired Ladybug

With Ladybug there was heaps of admiration and some shy awkwardness but he ultimately felt more comfortable and relaxed around her, probably, he reasoned, because of being Chat Noir, but with Luka....

Luka was his freind yet they were still new to eachother, and it felt infinitely more like Adrien was stepping off of a cliff by entertaining the idea of getting too close to Luka

"Too close", that tasted bitter

Adrien always wanted to be close to people, and Luka had never been an exception that rule, and yet....

"Um... I've never heard it," he finally replied back, keeping a small distance as he hesitantly approached

Luka only smiled though, warm as ever, and moved over on the bench, silently inviting Adrien over

The blonde forced himself forward, telling himself again and again that his hesitation was absolutely ridiculous, and stiffly managed to sit down next to his freind

Because that's what they were, Luka was his freind, and you should never be nervous around your freinds... right?

"I-Is it... _for_... anyone?"

"Hm? Oh, no, I'm just practicing a different style, I'm writing a song for someone and hoped this could help me get over the block I'm on,"

"O-Oh...."

"I can play more for you if you want?"

Adrien just nodded shakily, his face warm, like.. he was blushing...

But Luka didn't seem to notice or care if he did, only going back to his guitar, his soft, soothing voice lighting up once again as Adrien felt the butterflies pick up effort in their fluttering

_"So it's gonna be forever, or it's gonna go down in flames,"_

Luka was focused on the music, on his guitar and on saying every word evenly and with perfect pronunciation, and with a sort of strange dedication to the emotion of the song that Adrien himself didn't understand- because Adrien himself had no hobbies to feel passionate about and always admired the people who did- and Adrien...

Adrien was focused on Luka

He was focused on the way his voice sounded when the music hit a sharper pitch, he focused on the way his fingers moved against the guitar strings, he focused on the way his lips stretched up into something more of an amused grin when he seemed to take extra pleasure in certain lines

He studied Luka in a way that he could only ever remember studying Ladybug before- and Marinette, from time to time- and honestly?

It was scaring him

It was scaring him that he felt this way

It was scaring him that these feelings weren't scaring him _more_

His throat felt weirdly tight, and he just...

_"Stolen kisses, pretty lies  
You're the king baby, I'm your queen,"_

A thousand thoughts seemed to flood through Adrien's head all at once, like how Luka didn't bother changing the words "king" and "queen" around, or how he wouldn't mind a stolen kiss from Luka himself...

_"Wait the worst is yet to come-"_

Adrien's phone rang, and he screamed, and he threw it on instinct across the park, jumping, heart racing so hard that he thought he just might die, before reality started settling over him and his embarrassment truly managed to reach a fever pitch

Luka had stopped, staring at Adrien with surprise and a low, amused chuckle, and Adrien felt like he would die of humiliation

"Do you want me to get tha-"

"No!" Adrien shouted, leaping up and hurrying over to the phone, hoping that maybe putting some distance between them would help with his racing heart

"I-I just... um.... no I've got it, that's a really pretty song but..."

He paused, picking up the phone and feeling a strange combination of releif and disappointment upon seeing Nathalie's name on the screen

"I've gotta go, I'm sorry,"

"It's cool, I'll see you later then," Luka smiled back, waving to him politely before turning back to the music, seemingly unbothered

Adrien wished he could say the same

Huffing a few carefull breaths, he wiped off his phone and was quick to answer Nathalie, managing a few smooth lies about how he had gotten lost and promising he would be right there as he headed out of the park

Everything felt weird and wrong and right and painfull and confusing all at the same time and he didn't know what to make of any of it

All he knew for sure was that, as he walked away, the last words he heard Luka sing felt almost disturbingly foretelling

_"Boys only want love if it's torture, don't say I didn't, say I didn't, warn you..."_

Was that true?

It would certainly explain why he had fallen so hard for Ladybug, who insisted repeatedly that they couldn't be together

He wondered, as he got into the car to take him home, was this love he was starting to feel?

Or was it just torture?

~+~

"I don't know why you're so upset,"

Of all the things he needed right now, Plagg being careless was not one of them

"Because I'm suffering here!" Adrien insisted, putting a pillow over his face and resisting the urge to scream into it

"Because you might like somebody other than Ladybug?" the kwami guessed boredly, shoving a peice of cheese into his mouth

"W-Well... yeah! B-But it's more than just that! I might like _Luka_, I might like _Viperion_!"

"...And your point is what exactly?"

Tossing the pillow away, Adrien forced himself to sit up, his face bright red as he stared at Plagg from across the room

"They're _guys_,"

"I noticed,"

Adrien's face just scrunched up in confusion, it felt like there were question marks appearing in mid-air around him

Plagg only sighed, apparently- finally- taking pity on him and moving to put a paw-? did kwami have paws?- on Adrien's shoulder

"Look kid, you've got it way easier than my past holders have, be thankfull for that, but you're gonna have to have this particular crisis without me, kwami don't operate like humans, we don't have silly concepts like 'gender' or 'romance', I can't help you out too much here,"

"Then.... what do I do?" Adrien asked miserably, hanging his head and feeling his hope at finding a solution to all of his confusion slowly drain away in front of him

"Use the internet?" Plagg guessed with a shrug, flying off to dive into Adrien's sock drawer- _again_

"Ask some freinds at school? I dunno, whatever you feel comfortable with I guess,"

"Thanks Plagg, you're a big help," he noted flatly, utterly unamused

"No problem, happy to assist! Nooow... do you have any more of that sweet sweet camembert~?"

Honestly? Adrien didn't even have the energy to respond to that

Miserably, he flopped over to face the wall, half hoping to fall asleep, before grabbing his phone and deciding to actually take Plagg's advice and look it up on the internet

_What does it mean if I'm in love with a girl but also maybe like guys too?_

~+~

"Adrien? You ok?"

Lifting his head up miserably, Adrien directed his attention to the person speaking to him, startling slightly upon seeing who it was

"O-Oh hey Marinette!! I-I um, I'm fine yeah, just... haven't slept much the last few days..."

That much was true atleast

Ever since the night that he started searching for answers to his... _question_.... he had fallen down a rabbit hole of information

He had never known that so many different types of people even _existed_

Having lived such a sheltered life, information was often scarce

From pop culture to knowledge about things that his father deemed "useless" to social issues, and having only vaguely been aware of the concept of "gay" before now had lead Adrien to quite the airhorn of a wake up call once he started looking into the LGBTQ+ community, wich, he realized far more quickly than he was comfortable admitting, he was part of

The last several days had lead to long nights of research, wolfing down information like he had just discovered the secrets of the universe

Some of it was surprising, some of it was affirming, some of it was confusing and even kind of panic-inducing, but for the most part it was just... comforting....

Adrien was comforted by what he read, it was... nice, knowing that he wasn't abnormal, he wasn't weird, he wasn't _wrong_, he was just the same as anyone else

There was an entire community- an enormous community- of people who had the exact same feelings that he had and they were supportive and welcoming and encouraging...

And there was no way that he could participate in anything to do with them

His father had always enforced a very strict idea of keeping a public image, of keeping up perfection, of being everything to everyone all at the same time and keeping his own personality or personal wishes or thoughts or opinions out of it

Adrien couldn't even be allowed to publicly announce what his favorite kind of chocolate was because it might risk getting brand deals with other kinds in the future

He couldn't even comment on what kind of girl he liked because he was supposed to be the ideal boy for all girls his age in order to promote them buying his products

If he couldn't even say that he liked brunettes, saying that he liked _guys_ was _way_ out of the picture

He couldn't even talk about it online in private because inevitably, anything and everything he did online would be put under a microscope, his social media was heavily monitored by a PR team so he couldn't say anything if he wanted to

Adrien was just... stuck

Isolated

_Alone_

And oh how he hated being alone....

"Are you sure that's all?" Marinette asked quietly, worriedly

"Y-Yeah I'm sure," he promised, offering her an exhausted smile, but she didn't seem convinced

"You know... Adrien, you can tell me anything, if... if you need to?"

He bit his lip, resisting the urge to brush away her concern again and instead forcing himself to be honest and actually... _ask_

"Well actually... I _did_ want to ask you something..."

"O-Oh yeah? What is it?"

"What if... what if I really needed to tell you a secret and... and it was REALLY important that no one else find out? Could you keep it?"

Marinette nodded firmly, more confident than he could ever remember seeing her before

"You have my word, you're safe with me,"

That much he knew, he just hoped she would still feel that way later...

~+~

"Hey Marinette, can I... tell you something?"

He couldn't talk to anyone as Adrien, not even Marinette, no matter how much he wanted to

But maybe he could as Chat Noir

"Oh, sure Chat, what is it?"

Swallowing tightly, he decided to just blurt it out as quickly as he could

"I'm bi,"

Actually saying the words felt like he was ripping off the most painfull bandaid in the universe, and he could only pray that the end result would be worth it

Marinette blinked, and for a moment Chat prepared to launch himself off of the balcony out of the fear that he was about to be rejected

"Ok," she said simply, as though she had bee expecting something much more serious than his confession

She probably had been

"I-I'm not any less in love with Ladybug!" he added quickly

"She has my heart and soul, always, but... but I've decided that I like guys too, and I-.. I kinda... want to tell people but... I can't even tell anyone who I am, much less..."

Marinette shook her head, stepping closer to him on the balcony and gently placing her hand on top of his

"You... can't tell people in your civilian identity?"

"Definitely not... that would be... _catastrophic_... but maybe as Chat Noir I could.. I don't know, get experience? With... with being out? I'm just scared... what if people reject me? What if LADYBUG rejects me? What if she thinks I don't love her anymore because I like guys too?"

"That won't happen," Marinette insisted firmly

"Ladybug is going to love you no matter what, she doesn't care who makes your heart flutter, she's always going to adore you, I promise,"

Nodding slowly, he squeezed her hand back, glancing at her worriedly

"Then you.. think I should tell her?"

"If it'll make you feel better then yeah, I think so,"

Marinette was right, he knew, Ladybug was an extremely accepting person, ofcourse she wouldn't reject him

But he couldn't help fearing it anyway

"Ok," he finally said

"Ok, I... I'll tell her soon, thank you Marinette, for the advice, and the acceptance,"

"Ofcourse," she smiled softly

"And Chat? I want you to know that in the future, anything you need to talk about, anything you need to get off your chest... you can come to me, there's no judgement here, ok?"

Just those words felt like Marinette was lifting a weight off of him, and with a quiet breath, he nodded and offered her a true smile

"Ok... thank you Marinette, for everything,"

Maybe as Adrien he couldn't do anything about his new revelation, not now atleast, but as Chat...

Maybe as Chat he could find the acceptance he was so desperately hoping for


End file.
